The Lesson of COVID

Sitting on the front porch of the cabin this morning, on the day after Christmas. Things have changed for me post-COVID. I was shocked to learn I was positive a few weeks ago. How? When? Who? I had no idea. I had been very careful as I always had been, but somehow it found me. I quarantined in my bedroom alone while Jason selflessly took care of the girls solo. We would FaceTime, but it wasn’t the same. My family and his family called and texted us daily to make sure we were okay. 

For me, it was horrible. I would lie in bed trying to coach myself just to get up. I didn’t have the strength but I knew I needed to walk and follow the directions of my doctor. I followed instructions to a tee:  gargle several times a day with listerine and use a nasal spray as that is where it populates. Drink water. Take zinc and vitamin D (I had been already.) Take Quercetin. (Never heard of it.) Take a daily aspirin to prevent blood clots. Sleep on your side or stomach so it won’t go into your lungs. Take deep breaths. Walk around the room. Measure your oxygen. I did all those things but I was miserable. Smell eventually left me totally and taste was very off. Water tasted sweet and coffee was bitter and disgusting. Coughing wasn’t as big for me as it was the runny nose, the extreme chills and sweats, the body aches and pain in my back, the fatigue, the nausea, the loss of appetite and the headaches. It was the worst illness I had experienced. Nine days of fever hovering around 100-101. There were some days I wondered if this would worsen for me. Would I be a statistic? 

Day 6 of my quarantine. The girls and Jason had been tested during the week - all negative. But as I heard Jason coughing, I knew. He was already on antibiotics for a sinus infection - somehow I wonder if that helped him. He and the girls got tested another time on my day 6, and two of the three were positive. It was official. They had been at home during that week quarantining away from me, but also quarantining. But we were a family infected. 

My time with COVID lifted almost as quickly as it came. Eleven days. Jason and the girls never got it as badly as I did, although we are still struggling with regaining our sense of smell and some taste. 

But I learned something. Those days I was lying in bed hoping I would be one of the lucky ones - how much some things didn’t matter to me anymore. I knew after all I had been through, that the second half of my life would be greater than my first. And somehow in the midst of work and life, I had gotten lost in my personal life mission. I hadn’t been advancing it, rather, what I had wanted to achieve to make the world better before I left it. My girls were who I wanted to pour into most of all. But also, so many lives. 

I made the decision to stop some things about my work. I couldn’t be so hands on in the field with the team and keep the backend as well. I would leave that part. But also, I made decisions about other things while lying in bed, choices to indeed make the second half of my life more meaningful than the first. Choices that are small. Like just sitting and looking at the Christmas tree. Or sitting on the front porch to enjoy the sun. Or watching Little House on the Prairie with my husband and daughters. Or making cookies. Or just BEING. There are many things to do. Yes - my to do list is still long. But I think if COVID taught me anything, I’m grateful for the reminder to just BE. To be present. 

“Our best days have yet to come.” No. They are right here, right now. Even if you are in the bed fighting illness yourself - this is the best day. We are here right now. 

For those of you who have lost loved ones, I am so very sorry for your loss. I am sending you so much love. For those of you who are sick - hang in there! I know it stinks. For those of you who are scared, don’t be. Somehow we will all be okay. Because today is the best day. You and I are here. ❤️