Bird Uncaged

It is my birthday. I think everyone assumes I should be partying. Or even maybe I think that. But I am not. How many other people in the world feel incredibly depressed on their birthdays? I have been wondering this all day. People try. I love that they give. Is it because empathic people are so used to giving they cannot receive? I do not know. So much change. I think sometimes I should be awarded for having walked my trials. Shouldn't I be blessed on this side, God? Have I not given enough of my life? Wasn't the pain of what I went through for so many years enough that I now deserve a form of Utopia? I am tired of waiting. Waiting for Love to be with me, to live with me. The silence inside the home is deafening. The ticking of the wall clock beside me is so loud. My girls happily playing I presume, in that man's home - that man I do not know at all. Why does he not just live his life? Move on? Why must he continue? Because it is about winning. It is about pleasu...

Two years. For two years I sat out while I fought the biggest battle of my life. It is exactly where my focus needed to be. June 26, 2016 was the start of my life turning upside down. I knew that day would come, but I didn’t know the winds of that storm would be so horrible. And then suddenly, out of nowhere, my little girls were ripped from me. I was a good mom, an excellent mom. But nothing could compete with going into a battle when the unimaginable would happen, especially when the wrong person was defending you. I had hired the wrong attorney, and the truth was not told that day. So I wept. Every. Single. Day. I fought. I pleaded with my new attorney that my voice and the truth would be heard and told. Meanwhile I went home every day empty handed, with no laughter of little girls echoing my walls, no unmade beds, no toys disturbed. I had custody of my little girls only 4 days a month. 4 days. And it ripped my heart open. The ending of that chapter came for me almost 2 years to the...