Fear
The more you know, the more prepared you can be. This is true. But it also brings more fear. Tonight I am gripped with it. This week - this week was one of the hardest weeks I have had with the girls. Emotions ran high. "I am handling this as best as I can. But it's not enough," I thought. I needed help, outside help. I sought learning from those who have walked this path before me. It shed light on what I was dealing with, and it only made the reality of it worse. This is a much bigger demon than I had ever imagined. Even when it started, I saw how huge it was. But now, I had no idea. (Why do I talk in vagueness? So cryptically? What cannot I be plain? I will tell you why. I guard my words to protect, to protect 2 little lives. I feel my voice needs to be heard, but I also feel more passionately that lives need to be protected.) And tonight, well tonight I have fear. Fear of what is to come, fear of what is now, and fear of what damage has already been done. Once a...